[MUSIC PLAYING] And if we were all like stupid Barbie, then-- Then we'd all have a husband named Ken.

And a sister named Skipper.

And if we were in the store-- And a baby named Kelly.

--and Barbie and Ken face come to the front desk, we would all go there.

I went through my phase, you know, alcohol, drug pain, and alcohol.

Yeah, I mean, when I went to parties and stuff, the guys tried to take advantage of me.

And it's like, I mean, I had no sense in my head.

And also trying to just leave the situation, you know?

I think you should leave it like that.

Because, you know, when I cut my hair really short-- I mean, not to be rude, but it made my face look really chubby.

And I really didn't like it.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] So what you gonna do, do, do, do?

Are you gonna get up?

Get up, get up.

Me, me, me, me, me.

Hi, I'm Carrie Anne, and I'm 15.

Hi, I'm Simone, and I'm 13 years old.

I'm Ashley, and I'm 14.

I'm Vanna, and I'm 14, too.

The producers of this show asked us and a lot of other girls our age to take cameras like these and talk to our friends and classmates.

They want to find out what life is like in today's society for girls our age.

Together, we recorded almost 100 hours of interviews and conversations.

We hope you'll take a few minutes and listen to what we all have to say.

[MUSIC PLAYING] When I was 10 or 11, I didn't have a lot of worries.

I wasn't worried about losing my friends to death or to suicide or to drugs and alcohol or to sex.

I was more concerned with myself and maybe becoming somebody really big when I got older.

And now, it's like I'm afraid to be really happy because I know that maybe tomorrow things won't be so good.

What do you think was the hardest part about going through puberty?

Most girls didn't start till fifth or sixth grade, and I was in fourth grade.

Seventh or eighth.

Seventh or eighth.

Yeah, and so I was kind of embarrassed.

But now, it's just like everybody at my age has hit puberty.

Everybody has their period.

Everybody-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] When I first experienced it, I was like, whoa.

Am I the only one out there?

Yeah, I first got my period when I was in fifth grade.

And I was the first girl out of my whole school, out of all the girls to get my period.

And I was really scared.

I didn't tell anybody.

I didn't know what to do and when to change and all that kind of stuff like that.

I was usually a pretty calm girl.

But then puberty hit, and there was tons of emotions flowing all the time.

Yeah, I used to get really angry, and sometimes I still do, and confused and feel kind of weird and gross.

I wasn't uncomfortable with it.

I knew what was going on and things.

My mom was there to like, this is what this is for, and this is what you have to do, and this is how long it's going to be.

I was sad a lot.

I would cry for no reason at all.

Then, like two seconds later, I would be laughing, and I couldn't stop laughing.

When I first got my period, it was kind of embarrassing because I first got it at school, and I didn't know what to do.

When I first became a teenager, I always wished I was a little kid because their life seemed so much easier, not confusing or anything.

But now I'm fine with it.

You don't really have to take on a lot of responsibility.

Right.

Everybody does everything for you.

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING] The most important issue facing the young girls like me, around my age, from like 12 to 15, something like that, I think it would have to be sex, sex and drugs.

Three main issues in here are body image, substance abuse, and sexual issues.

I think drugs is a major issue.

I think being perfect is a major issue.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I'm really insecure about my looks and my personality because there's other people who are really pretty and other people that have a really nice personality and that you want to be around.

And I don't see myself like that.

I am trying to watch my weight right now because I am a little bit heavier.

And I don't want to be like that because you feel like you're an outcast.

And you don't feel like anybody likes you, and you're not worthy.

And you just feel left out of everything.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I don't really like the way my body's built.

I've tried to lose weight a lot.

But well, every time I just kind of go and slack off.

Then I start eating again.

And I don't have an eating disorder.

It's just I'm a lot like my dad.

We really like candy.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I don't like my body image because I feel that I'm a little overweight.

I don't appreciate the size that I am.

I mean, I wish I were like model size.

[MUSIC PLAYING] If a boy looked at you for your looks, and what would happen to you, what would you do?

Because it's like that is very-- to me, that's rude.

Because if he looked at me like that, and he didn't think that I had a good personality, and all he think that he looked up from, look, I would just go find another fish and swim in the sea.

I must increase my body.

The bigger the bed, the bigger the boy's looking.

I can remember when I was really young, like five years old, I wouldn't care how big my stomach was or anything.

Because you're a little kid, you just have fun.

And now, as a teenager, you kind of care more about what you look like.

And no matter how thin you are, almost everybody thinks they're fat.

How do you feel about your body image?

I feel fine about my body image.

There's times I don't think I look good, but there's other days I think I look fine.

But being a teenager, you take body image very seriously.

[MUSIC PLAYING] One of my friends, I'm pretty sure she has an eating disorder.

Of course, she would never admit it, and we have talked to a counselor about it.

Because she was struggling with bulimia.

And for that day, I wouldn't let her go to the bathroom unless I was right outside the door, because then I could hear her.

And she was like, would you just get over it?

And I'm like, no.

You shouldn't be doing this to yourself.

You shouldn't be doing this to your body.

It'll just get weaker.

I heard her puking, and I kind of felt really bad.

And for the rest of the dance, I didn't know really how to talk to her anymore.

And I guess that after I told her it happened to me and why I quit, and I told her what can happen to you, a whole bunch of stuff.

And so she quit too.

And now she's OK now.

She's getting lots better.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I just felt like I was worth nothing.

I felt like I was huge.

Felt like I was so fat.

I used to look at people and say, wow, I wish I could be as skinny as her.

I wish I had her hair.

But now I just try to accept myself and catch myself whenever I say, oh, I wish I looked like her.

I just try to say, no, I am who I am, and that's who I want to be.

I didn't want to be quiet anymore.

I wanted to be more fun.

And so over this summer, I worked on getting over some of my shyness.

Do you feel that you are confident enough to do just about anything you want to do?

No.

It's having a personality.

And people fail to realize that personality is what's going to make up in the long run.

I like my body image.

I'm not-- you know, I'm not-- I'm disappointed that I have this body.

I'm just plain me.

I mean, I'm like not trying to copy off anybody or trying to steal what somebody else-- what somebody else has.

I'm just myself.

Once I get older, I know I'll be somebody bigger than what I am now.

So for right now, I'm just a serious Santiago, Puerto Rican, and I'm still going to school.

I'm a creation of God, and I'm a Muslim, and that I'm proud of who I am and my family.

I have had a hearing deficiency for a long time.

And just recently, they discovered that a hearing aid would help my problem.

When I first got it, I was real hush-hush about it and didn't want anybody to know that, because I thought-- I mean, I don't know.

I just didn't want people to know about it.

And then as I've had it for longer and longer, and it's come just more like, oh, I need to put in my hearing aid, or I can't hear you.

Hold on.

I need my hearing aid.

And people have been real-- I mean, I've never had anybody say, oh my gosh, you have a hearing aid or anything.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Something I think that has really been hard on girls our ages-- well, especially for someone like me-- is media and stuff.

[CHATTER] I mean, a lot of the time, it's all those skinny girls on the magazines, and I mean, girls that are really pretty and flawless.

I think a lot of people get hurt by the media, like not just people in general, but mostly girls.

Because they make you think that you have to be like a certain person and make them feel like they're not what they should be.

And then they're like, oh, I got to be this way.

So we're doing all this just to make them feel something that they're not.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I think that they have all these people that everybody admires, like role models on TV doing all this stuff for movies, like being paid to show these kids that drugs are OK, alcohol's OK, sex is OK. Next week on 90210.

Do we have any newcomers here this morning?

Hi, everybody.

I'm Steve.

Hi, Steve.

I'm addicted to sex.

Nowadays, a lot of the kids are getting less involved with activities and stuff.

And some of them are going off in their own little world, and they forget that things on TV are actually fake.

And they want to make them become real, and they're actually dangerous.

And I think that's influencing a lot of the people.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] I think that there's a lot more pressure for girls to have sex in middle school and high school because of other people doing it.

And on TV, it's like all over the movies.

And I mean, people that other people look up to, other teenagers look up to, if you see them sprawl out on a bed on TV, I mean, that's your role model right there.

[MUSIC PLAYING] And I think the movies have a lot of effect on the kids today because that's like all we see and we watch.

And it's like we get influenced by them.

If we keep on watching the same thing, you're going to want to do what they do on the movies or TV.

[MUSIC PLAYING] What we think about sex.

It's like a main topic in school.

A lot of people talk about it.

And there is a lot of pressure at school.

Like, if you have sex too many times, then you're like a bad person.

As people at school say, you're a whore.

And like sometimes, if you don't have sex, then people just think low of you, like you can't get nobody.

I think some boys are pretty cute, but I wouldn't go out with them or what they call going out with them because I don't know.

I just-- maybe I'm not ready to make a commitment to them, or maybe they're not ready.

But I don't think I'd ever do that, or at least not until eighth grade.

I wouldn't like-- I mean, if you really wanted to do something with a boy, I mean, you'd have to wait.

I mean, I would never do something that would change my life forever.

I don't think sex is really appropriate for this age because I think you're still too young and you're still adjusting and stuff.

If I don't have sex, then I will.

[LAUGHTER] But if I don't want to, then I'm just going to say, nope, no.

Like most of the time, like if there was this really hot guy, you know, and like I knew him pretty well, I probably wouldn't say no.

Guys, they go out with girls.

Well, most of them, they go out with girls to see how far they can get.

And it's kind of like a competition between them.

And they just-- they're like, oh, I've got so far with her, and I got so far with her.

And the girls, I personally, I don't like it.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh my god.

[MUSIC PLAYING] My best friend from a while ago was sexually abused by her own grandfather.

And she struggled with that for a long time.

And I think she experimented a lot with sexual activity when she was my friend.

And I think she didn't really care what the guys would do to her because of what she experienced before.

I'm not saying to myself-- I'm not promising myself to wait till I'm married.

I think just I'm going to wait until personally I'm ready.

And I believe that if I were to get pregnant, that that person would actually pay for the child.

And I'd be able to take care of the child myself also.

OK, as you get older, you will take on a lot more responsibility.

What is your biggest fear?

Not being able to get out on my own is financially support me and the baby.

I have a 15-year-old friend who's due any time.

And she's going through a lot right now.

And it's really hard on everybody because we have to be there for her.

And I don't think she realizes just how much it's taken out of everybody else.

[MUSIC PLAYING] If you are in love and you think it's a good thing, I think that you should do it.

But you should use protection any time you have sex.

And there is always a chance of getting disease.

But there's always a chance that you're going to get it either.

Never mind because I did not know what I was saying.

It's hard for me to say right now.

I mean, I'm only 14.

I don't know what the future is going to bring.

But I can't picture myself having sex with someone at such a young age.

A boundary is where you decide if the guy is going to respect you or not.

Because if he crosses the boundary, after he knows where it is, if you tell him that and he crosses, then you know he doesn't respect your decisions and what you want.

And to think about it, you need to tell them before he-- So you can't say, well, you didn't do this.

Well, you didn't tell me.

I mean, so if you're going to do it, at least let them know what you want before-- not what you want, but how you take things.

What you'll take.

Yeah.

There are a lot of things I won't put up with.

I don't like being called a kike.

That type of thing will-- if they keep just calling me that, I'll just go and flip them off just because of the fact that that's not appropriate.

They don't do it to Michael.

They don't do it to Louis.

They don't do it to Chaim.

They don't dare do it to Chaim.

But they dare do it to me.

And whenever they do that to me and they keep on doing that, I just flip them off and I go, shut up to them.

Because I try being polite.

And then when they're not polite, when they have no courtesy left, then I'm just not going to take it.

Like, these one guys asked me if I would have sex before I married.

I said, no way.

I don't believe in that.

And they made fun of me and taunted me about that and everything.

Molly!

Molly!

I think sexual harassment is anything that someone does and you tell them not to.

Or-- Sexually.

Well, touching you or saying-- I mean, sexual harassment is now considered saying stuff to you.

And-- If you touch anywhere where it's inappropriate and a person's telling you directly in your face, no smiles, no giggling, stop, then you need to stop.

And if you can't take stop, then you have a problem and you need to get it fixed before you end up in jail.

Also, I noticed with the teachers, OK, say it's going on and they see it, they don't know whether to say something or not.

Because they don't know if it's for-- Playing.

Just for playing or is it-- Yeah.

I think a lot of teachers ignore it and try to pretend like it's not there because they don't think it's all that important.

Yeah.

When we were talking to a lot of girls, a lot of girls in the middle school is really where we focused on.

And said that it is everywhere.

And it really is.

The eighth grade, a lot of guys sexually harass girls.

But the girls lead them on.

So I don't think it's a problem.

In what way do they sexually harass the girls?

They'll like tickle their sides or make dirty comments to them.

And they just giggle about it.

And they'll complain.

The girls will complain to the principal or a teacher.

And the teachers can't do anything about it because they never asked them to stop.

So it's not sexual harassment.

Have you ever had to deal with that?

Yeah.

I just basically just tell them, stop.

And if they don't, I tell somebody.

Do they stop?

Yeah.

I don't like it the way some girls, every time just to threaten a boy, they're like, oh, if you touch me, I'm going to get you nailed for sexual harassment.

I don't like it when girls do that to guys.

Because really, I mean, some girls take advantage of it.

I don't think it's too fair to the guy either.

Because a girl could come up to a guy and start touching him.

And what are they going to do?

Sound like a wimp?

Well, I've been sexually harassed.

And it is not fun.

I mean, like what the person did is they like snapped my bra.

And they like slapped my butt and everything.

[CHATTER] And it was not fun.

That kid had to go to the police and everything.

And I was out of class like every day trying to talk to the counselors and everything along with two other girls.

Like such things as sexual harassment.

You do not want that to happen.

[LAUGHTER] I am the master man.

I know this stuff.

I mean, I am like dead straight about this stuff.

If anyone does anything to you, I swear it's more commonly to happen on the bus.

Because you talk more.

That is where it happened to me.

That was my mistake of not doing anything about it.

And if anybody ever does it to me again, I mean, they're going down.

I'm not taking any chances on something like that.

I don't think a girl goes any day without being sexually harassed.

I mean, it makes you a little uncomfortable if they come up and pinch your side or touch you somewhere.

And you need to tell the guys to knock it off or else they're going to keep doing it.

And a lot of the girls that get it the most don't tell them to quit.

And so I don't think they really have the right to complain unless they tell them to quit and they still don't quit.

Oh my god.

I'm on TV.

What's up, brother?

Oh, I love boys.

I mean, I have two brothers that are boys.

And so I mean, like, boys are-- you know, they're humans just like us.

Hey, stop.

I don't really judge a lot of boys.

But I can tell you that there is some boys in our school that are, like, immature.

And I mean, like, you can't really talk to them because they're, like, kind of silly in the head and all.

I mean, but I have a lot of friends that are boys.

Always, when I like a guy or something, I'll be like-- I can talk to him OK.

I mean, I'll be nervous, you know, but when we're not going out, it's just fine.

And-- but then I'll go out with him and I'll just be like, yes.

Nah.

Look, mashed potatoes.

[LAUGHTER] I'm not used to not being able to play football as much because the guys are, like, afraid to touch me in the wrong spot.

Once in a while, you might see them have, like, a million dollar smile or, oh, I don't think they'll like you, but you really don't like them.

You just rather be friends with them.

And then you just get to know them as you get older.

Now they're changing because you used to know them as someone else.

But their personalities are just changing.

Like, some of them could be, like, real dorks and really immature, but now that we're, like, in middle school, they're changing and you get to know them as different people.

Some of them will actually, like, talk to you.

I need guys in my life.

And if I don't, I, like, go crazy.

I had a boyfriend.

I was never really around.

I was always with him and we won't go there.

There's not enough time, nor is there an hour in the day for him.

But-- And he was-- him and I didn't-- I mean, we didn't fight or anything.

We just-- I don't know.

Well, they never really talked, really.

Right.

I hardly knew him.

But he was kind of cocky when I knew him, so he didn't make a real good first impression.

So I wanted her out of that relationship, which she is now.

Guys are fun to have as friends, too, because it's, like, just a different style of friends.

I like guys-- I like guys too much, OK?

If I was a guy, I'd go after guys.

I don't like boys, period.

Some of them are nice.

I hang around with some of them.

They're nice, but I don't think I'd rather-- I don't think I'd want to date one.

It's like, they're, like-- they're boys.

My friends, they're, like, basically girls.

And I have one good boyfriend, but he's not, like, a boyfriend.

He's just, like, a friend.

OK, anyways, they-- they're my friends because I can trust them, and we have a lot of good times together.

[CHATTER] I think looks are important in getting friends.

To me, they aren't, but to, like, a lot of people, they are.

They basically judge people on the way they look.

Sometimes it's kind of hard to fit in with other girls because it's like, if they're, like, in this own little group and, like, they-- they're, like, the most popular kids in school, it's kind of hard because, you know, you want to be, like, with them.

You want to be, like, the popular kids.

I don't know if I really have a problem fitting in, but I always feel like I do.

And last year at school, I-- I thought nobody liked me, and I thought I was stupid and ugly and everything, and they all thought I was stuck up last year.

That's why they didn't hang out with me.

They thought I wasn't hanging out with them because I was stuck up, but really, I just thought they hated me.

This year, I was a lot friendlier to everybody, and I have a big group of friends I hang out with every day, and I'm a lot happier, and I don't dread school as much.

I don't like it, but it's not so bad anymore.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [LAUGHTER] Popular people at our school-- I don't know if it's like this with other schools, but a lot of them are people that everybody's kind of afraid of.

Yeah, or just don't even like because they're, like, either jealous of, or they're really mean, or-- We hate them because they think they're popular.

OK, personally, I don't like-- Actually, no, listen.

I like-- Listen.

OK, we hate them because they know they're popular, and then they think that they're cool.

But they're not.

Yeah.

And so they try to, like, take over everyone, but they can't.

And I wish you'd talk-- It's blinking.

Uh-oh.

Oh, man.

Take-- no, take-- What I don't really like about eighth grade is how everybody comes to us and saying we're snobs and that, and that, like, because supposedly we have a popularity.

And I think we're just, like-- We're normal.

We're just like everybody else.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, maybe we hang out with guys.

Popular group of guys.

Yeah, but it's like-- Popular.

We do almost everything they do.

And, I mean, we don't drink.

We don't smoke.

We get good grades at school, and so does everybody else.

I guess I fear rejection a lot.

I'm, like, afraid that nobody's going to like me.

And, like, people are going to just, like, cut down my self-esteem and self-worth.

How do you feel about that?

I think that they reject me a lot.

[INAUDIBLE] I don't think I'm good enough for a lot of people.

I found out that I was basically a person who isn't really influenced by other people, who kind of wants to be the leader and wants to stand out in the crowd and doesn't exactly want to fit in all the time.

I think that looks are important when getting friends, because people will choose you by it.

But once you've found real friends, they really don't care.

If someone doesn't like how you look, so they don't like you, then they wouldn't really be a good friend if that's the only reason that they like you.

If I'm in a group with a whole bunch of white people, I kind of feel lonely and left out, because I'm the only colored person.

And sometimes, I don't know, sometimes being mixed with black and white makes me kind of feel depressed, because most people, like most black people say I'm proper and I want to be a white girl, stuff like that.

And for white people, they'll say, I'm trying to be black, stuff like that.

So it's kind of hard for me, since I'm in between cultures.

Doesn't matter what people say about me or my culture.

I just like being Asian.

Well, people call me Chinese, but I'm not Chinese.

My culture is Hmong, and they really mistake us.

And then call us Chinese and do all this mean stuff.

But no matter what they say, I still have Asian pride.

I can't change anything about that.

I'm still Asian.

Right now, I'm reading a book called Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul.

I like that book, because it shows a lot of things that happen in middle school right now.

It shows what's going on and how they dealt with it.

And sometimes, you might be going through that, and you can read it just to understand it.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I have a lot of friends, but out of all my friends, my mom's my best friend.

I tell her almost everything.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] My hair looks blue.

I don't think you like hearing us singing.

My mom and I, we can tell each other anything.

Mostly from my mom.

I would have to say my mom understands me the most.

Me and my mom, we are really close in everything.

I can tell.

I feel comfortable telling her stuff.

My mom means the world to me.

My dad and I aren't as close, but-- Why do you feel like you're not close with your dad?

I just feel sometimes he doesn't understand me as a person and doesn't really see me for who I am sometimes.

How does that make you feel?

A little depressed, kind of, sometimes, because I want both my parents to understand me and love me for who I am and be able to talk to me without judging me.

I'm nowhere near as close to my mom as I am to my dad.

I get along with my dad really, really good.

We are just so close.

Like, ever since I was little, we did everything together.

And it's the best.

It's nice to know that there's someone that will, like-- he'll do anything he can to get me whatever I need.

Me and my dad-- well, my dad was like my best friend.

I could tell him anything, but I can't anymore because he's never home.

And if he's home, me and him are fighting.

So I can't really talk to him about anything.

So I, like, got to keep my problems to myself.

I can't tell anybody.

My dad-- it's great.

I love my dad to death.

It's definitely different because I can't really-- he doesn't-- he can't, like, relate to what I have to say.

But I think he appreciates what I have to say.

My family-- there is six of us all together.

I have an older sister, and I have an older brother, and I have a middle sister, and then me.

You have a problem, and you feel like you can't go to your friends or anybody else, and, like, you know, you have a good relationship with your parents, then you can go to them, and they can help you out because they've been there.

They've done that.

There's really no one I can talk to because my mom-- I can't relate to her.

My dad-- he barely even talks.

And, I mean, I guess you can say I don't have the best family life, but I have it better than a lot of people.

So-- [CHATTER] I'm not relating it, but I really can't do it.

I have to-- you guys need to-- [CHATTER] My relationship with my parents is a lot better than most kids.

I talk to my mom, like, at least a 15-minute conversation just about every day.

I tell her everything.

And a lot of kids think that's really weird that I tell her so much.

And my relationship with my dad is a little different because he doesn't live with us.

But I still talk to him quite a bit, and I share with him quite a bit.

I used to be really close with my family, but it's like ever since I've turned 14, it's like I don't need them anymore.

That's what it seems like they're telling me.

But the truth is, I think I need them.

[MUSIC PLAYING] OK, don't you think Ashley's going to be a little bobby?

I'm raised by my mom.

She had me at a very young age.

And she didn't-- she-- thank God my grandmother was there because my mom would probably-- I probably wouldn't be with my mom right now.

And my mom has worked really hard.

She had got her degree.

She finally got her degree.

She's working on her master's now.

Well, I really never had a childhood since, like, my fifth birthday.

I was-- because I was the oldest, my head taker, and my brothers.

And now that I live with my aunt, she has six of the kids.

I got to take care of them all the time.

I'm tired of hearing, you're the role model.

You got to do this, and you got to do that.

And you can't goof off.

The year I turned 13, I got this basket from my Aunt Kay.

And it came in a little box.

And she gave it to me.

And she said, this is to hold all your hopes and dreams.

And I wear my basket pretty much every day because it just reminds me how important my family is to me because my family's always been there.

Like, friends come and go, but your family is going to be there no matter what.

My parents, I guess they have influence on my life.

But I don't want to admit it because they're my parents.

My mom and dad had gotten a divorce when I was in sixth grade.

And it was-- my dad had left us.

[MUSIC PLAYING] First of all, we thought it would be cool living in two different houses and, like, having, like, getting more presents at Christmas.

But as it, like, got further away, it's really, like-- I asked myself, why did this happen?

And you feel-- I felt like some of it was my fault.

And I know it wasn't.

But it was, like, hard.

I mean, it's been three years.

But, like, I still don't-- can't believe that-- what my dad did.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [CHATTER] I'd say, like, half my friends, their parents are divorced.

And I don't know, it's not a major thing that we talk about a lot.

Like, if I say I'm going to call somebody, you know, then you almost always ask, like, are you at your mom's or your dad's?

My parents are divorced.

And I like to call it a very clean divorce because they still get along and communicate fine.

My parents are both together.

But, I mean, I know a friend where her-- she had-- her parents had a divorce.

And she was, like, really down and out.

And she would always, like, go over her dad.

She didn't really care too much for her mom because her mom was kind of careless of her.

So-- but, I mean, at least her parents kind of tried to get along for the sake of her, which was good.

It's a different style, I guess, of living with having, like, two parents and two sides.

And-- but my parents get along real well, which is really nice because I know my stepdad and his ex-wife don't get along real well.

My dad got remarried-- I'm not sure how long ago.

I think it was, like, six years ago.

And the lady, he was going to marry it.

And me and my sister got along very well before they got married.

And once they got married, we had our little fights and everything.

But we get along pretty well now.

It's still hard sometimes to get used to new family members.

But it's getting easier.

I probably wouldn't want ever my parents to get back together.

I used to think that.

But not anymore because I know that it would probably never work out.

My parents got divorced.

And my dad lives on the other side of the world.

And I don't get to see him.

And my mom remarried.

And I have a new little brother now.

And I really didn't like my stepdad for a long time because I felt like he was trying to be my dad.

And I didn't want a new dad.

I wanted my old dad.

And now my mom wants to get a divorce again.

Just when I'm starting to adjust to your dad.

Just when I'm starting to get close to my stepdad.

And I just want them to get better.

Like my dad's going to be getting remarried soon.

And I don't like his fiance right now.

But I have to give her a chance.

I have not given her a chance.

And I realized just last night actually, I needed to give her a chance.

That's going to cause trouble.

Like video games are really bad.

And people say that it doesn't affect them.

But if you think of the fact that after you've played the game so many times, it's not fun.

It's not even scary anymore.

And so you've come immune to the violence.

And that's what people are doing is they come immune to watching this and knowing this.

And so they become immune to doing it.

Right.

And so it's not-- the horror of the whole concept is not there anymore.

Violence is everywhere.

I mean, there are certain times at school when people get in a fight or whatever.

But I'm never usually part of that.

And in my community, I see violence.

But it's not done to me.

So I don't do anything about it.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I know two people that have got shot before.

And they're my friends.

And it was around their neighborhood.

Or either they were at a club or a party or something.

And then shooting was occurred.

And they just happened to get shot.

My friend, Lindsey Cross, was murdered last year around August.

It was right before school started.

She was missing for three days before they found her.

We weren't the best of friends.

But we were pretty close.

We had quite a few classes together.

And we walked halls together.

And we went to a few football games together.

And she hung out with me when I first moved to the school.

I think my friends were the ones that could really help me.

Because they knew what I was going through.

They knew her.

And she was a really good person.

Sometimes there's drunk people driving by.

And there's old people.

You don't know who they are.

They just come up asking you for money.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them.

So I give them money.

Last year, everybody practically knew what happened to my family.

When my stepdad stabbed my mom.

[MUSIC PLAYING] She got it twice in the arm and two in the chest.

Everything's right now is scary for her and our family.

And because of all this happening, plus bad dreams and bad memories of it.

When I was at the bus stop, someone named Mike was there.

And he decided that he would take me back to his house.

And when we got there, he raped me.

When I walk down the street, just in public or whatever, it just feels like everyone knows what happened.

And everyone else is like-- I don't know, looks down on you.

The biggest thing is that you just-- you got to be strong.

I mean, if you don't say anything, then you're just letting them win.

You're just letting whoever raped you just totally take over.

I mean, sure, they might have got what they wanted.

But you have to at least see that they're punished for it or whatever.

Because if you don't say anything, the next time they do it to someone else, it's going to be in some way your fault.

And at school, it's like a lot of girls and some guys, too.

They get into arguments over stupid stuff.

And it's a lot of fighting and talking back and all this stuff.

Do you guys experience very much violence in schools?

Sometimes, not personally to me, but around other people.

Not really big violence.

It's just a lot of hitting and pushing and stuff like that.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] There's a lot of girls who like to fight now.

In middle school and in high school, I've had experiences with my friends fighting other people, my friends.

And then when it did happen to me, it taught me a lot.

Me being beat up taught me a lot about myself, knowing to think before I speak.

Because people aren't always going to care what I have to say.

Or like, you might have a boyfriend that really cared about you, but you didn't like him that much anymore.

And then they might come after you because you're talking to another dude.

And they might beat up on a dude or beat up on you.

And they might bring something to school because we don't have metal detectors.

So anybody could practically bring anything.

[MUSIC PLAYING] You know, if we start teaching our kids that there's nothing to do with equality, then our kids are going to grow up to think that there's only men in this world.

And women are supposed to be cleaning houses.

If we don't teach our generation to have equality, then how is the next generation going to have equality?

[MUSIC PLAYING] The reason why I'm scared of coming to school is because I just think that if I do something wrong to somebody and they're popular or something, and they're going to get the whole school against me, or they're going to say bad things and probably ruin my reputation.

I think people are really, really cruel to other people.

Most people, anyway.

I think it's horrible that they talk behind their back and just are so mean to everybody.

They didn't used to be.

I don't like gossip because it just screws up things.

And you don't know what's true and what's not.

It's just like playing a telephone game.

It gets passed on and on.

And then things change.

And he said or she said, you know, it's all messed up.

And you don't know what to believe.

So I just never bother listening to it.

There's a lot more pressures now.

You have to worry about what other people think about you.

And you know, just if you're accepted by everyone, I guess.

Is there a lot of peer pressure, like with drugs and smoking?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Like a lot.

And illegal drugs.

Do you feel pressured into?

If I really wanted to, I bet I could get on.

But I don't want to, so-- I have tried smoking.

I've never told anybody that before.

But I've tried it.

And I don't like it because I got sick.

What made you try it?

Well, it was peer pressure from another friend.

And you stopped because you just didn't like it?

Mm-hmm.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I do smoke.

And I know a lot of people smoke.

But I have tried marijuana.

I have tried drinking.

And then nothing else besides that.

But I just think it's ridiculous because kids our age, 13, 14, are already smoking.

[MUSIC PLAYING] A group of my friends that I hung out with at one point did get into that.

And I felt very uncomfortable with that.

And I ended up completely not hanging out with them anymore because I didn't want to be around that.

I think because my dad smokes and it is not something that I like.

And it drives me crazy because I hate the smell.

And I think it's disgusting.

And I have a history of alcoholism in my family.

And that's something that I want to take any chances on.

Are you pressured into doing alcohol?

Drinking?

Well, people have offered me.

But mainly, I've done it by choice if I have done it.

I think there's a lot of peer pressure.

There's peer pressure to drink, smoke, do drugs, just skip class.

Sometimes it's peer pressure and you don't even notice.

I think I have a lot of pressures from sports.

I play three sports.

And at the same time, I'm getting pressures from my coaches to do better.

Do you ever feel peer pressure at school?

No.

And I have tried drinking.

I have tried marijuana.

I have never tried heroin or coke because I don't like needles.

I met a friend last year in seventh grade.

And I smoked pot and I drank because I thought that I'd be accepted by older people.

And people would think I was cool.

And it was just all fake.

And I stopped.

And now I have more friends and a lot more self-confidence.

I'm not going to make it a habit of mine to go and smoke weed or something like that.

I just want to try it and just see what it's like.

I know some of the preppiest people in the world who get drunk every Friday night.

And then some of maybe the people who aren't so respected who don't do any of that stuff.

So basically, it's a wide range of people who do drugs and alcohol.

I'm alcohol free, sex free, drug free, and smoke free.

I used to go with my sister to a friend's house even though I knew they were going to do that kind of stuff there.

And they were toking it up and shit.

Stuff.

They were toking it.

And they asked me if I wanted some.

And I said yes, because I did.

But then I just should avoid them situations.

And I'm going to stop.

Well, see, I was at a party.

And I had stuff to drink.

And obviously, I'm underage.

And they videotaped me, which was kind of the best thing that they could have done.

Because I looked so dumb.

And the next morning when I didn't have the alcohol really in my system, I watched it.

And I was so embarrassed at what I did.

I could not imagine me looking.

I looked like a fool.

I really did.

And so I really can't see myself drinking again.

And it's really nasty.

I made a list of good things and bad things.

And I couldn't come up with any good things except for the fact that you don't care.

When you're high, you don't care.

And there's things that you don't want to care about.

And there's things that you don't want to care about.

Don't want to care about.

You don't feel like anybody likes you.

And you're not worthy.

I'm really insecure.

She was struggling with bleeding.

And when we got there, he raped me.

There's really no one I can talk to.

Well, I've been sexually harassed.

I was really good at my grades.

I had really high grades when I was younger.

And then as I got into middle school, I started going low in grades.

Because I started getting lazy.

And I stopped doing my homework.

Now I feel that I have no future.

I look at people differently now.

And I feel things differently.

I don't know really how to explain it.

I just look at the world differently than I did when I was little.

I realize that it's not so perfect as I used to think it was.

Do adults generally value your opinion?

No, I don't think they do.

No, because they still think we're kids and that we don't have opinions or feelings.

Most of them do listen.

But some of them just don't care.

They act like they're listening.

But they're just not.

No, they pretty much tell me exactly what to do and when to do it.

And could care less about what I think usually.

And there's things that you don't want to care about.

Don't want to care about.

I don't know if anybody knows, but I was diagnosed with clinical depression a year and a half ago.

And I'm on medicine and stuff.

So everything's better.

But it's still there.

So what do you think caused that?

It's mostly my family.

And I don't know.

My family's all screwed up.

I don't like my family.

Well, I do.

I love my family.

But I don't like my situation.

I get depressed if you get bad grades or people aren't treating you nice, that you think are your friends.

All of a sudden, you think they're your friend.

And then they turn their back on you.

And then it's like you lost everybody you counted on.

Then how do you release feelings?

I, believe it or not, I talk to myself when I'm alone.

That's how I figure out stuff.

Like if I'm doing a big project, that's how I figure out a lot of stuff.

Punch a bag or scream, jump rope, something like that.

Something to just get all my energy out.

Talk to our pets.

Yeah, I talk to my pets.

I have been depressed.

I've been so depressed.

So why?

I tried to kill myself three times.

I've never tried to kill myself.

The spiders kind of blocking two of my scars.

But-- [MUSIC PLAYING] I was physically abused once.

When?

I was littler.

My mom had a friend that stayed with us.

And she physically and verbally abused me and my little brother.

My friends who were sexually abused have a very hard time dealing with that.

They really don't know who they are.

And most of them are depressed and kind of looking for a way out.

And I know some of them who are even suicidal because of it.

I don't think I've ever been depressed.

I've been stressed to the limit, I guess you could say, where you just don't know which direction to turn, up, down, left, right, whatever.

And you just kind of break down and cry.

And then you get your stuff together and go on.

All she talks to me about is how she wants to commit suicide.

Because she said that in this world, nobody seems to care about her.

But I do.

It hurts to know that someone you care is trying to commit suicide.

The hardest decisions I have to make is whether I want to stay alive or if I just want to commit suicide or not be here anymore.

Right now, I don't think I have that many problems where I could go commit suicide.

But I guess you never know.

Something might happen where you feel you couldn't go on.

But I think I can get help.

I think that there are people that you can really talk to, like mentors or friends or anybody.

If you feel depressed or anything, you can go talk to them about just about anything.

I would never want to think of suicide.

Because all good things can happen if you make them happen.

Hi.

Gina.

I want to get a degree.

And I want to get a good job.

I want to be on TV when I grow up.

You need good grades to get into college.

I want to be a pediatrician.

Either I want to be a doctor or go into marketing.

Getting a grade means you can go to good school, good college.

I want to become an interpreter.

I want to be a meteorologist.

I feel getting good grades is really important.

I would, of course, love to go to college.

I would like to be a social worker.

[MUSIC PLAYING] I believe that in order to not fall into the traps of some of the difficulties in growing up, I think you have to be true to yourself and know where you're headed.

I'm my own self, so there's no one who would bring me down or put me down in any kind of way because I won't let them.

Well, a lot of the stuff that people want to change, you can't do anything about.

And you have to learn to just accept things how they are and move on.

I don't think that it's all that hard to be a teenage girl.

There's lots of things happening.

But you just kind of learn to deal with it.

Don't let people discourage you in what your dreams are.

That's a real big thing.

People put you down for what you believe in and what you want to do.

Maybe I'm young and maybe I'm a girl, but I can do anything I want to do.

Right now, we're probably in a cocoon now because we're closing off certain things.

We have to learn that.

Hide some of who we are.

We're learning new things, so we're taking it all in.

So when we get older, we go to head out for college or whatever.

I don't feel like I'm in this fit.

And I feel like now I can be who I want to be.

And people know me for me instead of how they expect me to be.

Yeah, it's kind of weird because we're the opposite of butterflies.

They start out as the worm and go into the cocoon and then become something better.

And we're like-- they become freer.

And we're freer when we're little.

And then probably more closed off when we get older.

Well, I still have the desire to always want to have fun.

It's always going to be there.

But I think I'm doing a good job of finding other ways to have fun rather than drinking and doing drugs.

You're the butterfly.

And you're more than a butterfly because you're on your own.

You know a little bit more than what you did when you were a little baby.

And your moms are there, but they're not as much there as you were whenever you were younger.

So you're beyond more than a butterfly.

[LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] [THEME MUSIC] (upbeat music)